The past year has seen the postponement of a huge number of weddings around Ireland. Twelve months on we find ourselves in the exact same predicament. Many couples are really struggling with deciding on whether to hold out or go ahead and get married.
We got married in December 2018 and had a fabulous old fashioned Irish wedding with 250 guests. We had a brilliant day. Would I do it again? I don’t regret the day in the slightest, but if I was getting married again (sorry William!), I would do a far more intimate affair. In February 2020 we found out that we were expecting our first baby. We were over the moon believing that life had fallen perfectly into place. Our baby girl Catherine was born at full term and died 4 days later. Our world was completely ripped apart. We still don’t have answers to what happened, but what I do know is that my outlook on many things has changed significantly.
Here are my 10 reasons why you should go ahead and get married:
‘Normal’ is gone
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but life as we once knew it has changed for the foreseeable future. Even with vaccinations, there will continue to be new mutations entering the country. A large unvaccinated portion of our country will not be protected. So face masks and social distancing measures will most likely be with us for quite a while. Trying to go back to normal is just that – trying to go back. Marriage is about your future. Stop waiting for the storm to pass and embrace life as we now know it. There is so much to be grateful for and so many blessings around you.
You Don’t Have A Crystal Ball
If I have learned anything over the past six months, it has been to never ever take anything for granted. Even if you do get the ‘dream’ zero-covid scenario, you have no idea what could come around the corner at any minute. If your very close family and friends are with you, then be very grateful and make of the most of it now.
It will Switch Your Focus
I’ve had the big day. I’ve worried about walking up the aisle, trying to talk to everyone (and failing significantly!), whether people had enough to eat, whether people will dance, worried about….you get the idea. When you have a big day, the focus of your day is on your guests not on you as a couple. The most important thing on your wedding day should be the two of you. Getting married now will allow you to focus on what is important.
It will be far more Special
Marriage is about you and your other half making a very personal commitment. If I was to do it all over again I would have a private ceremony. It should be about the two of you and nothing else. I guarantee you that it will be far more special. And let’s be honest, most of the guests at the church just want to get straight to the reception anyway!
You can still have the Trimmings
You can still have the beautiful dress, the fabulous photographs, the beautiful food, the cake and a great night of dancing wherever your chosen location may be. The only thing you are sacrificing is the huge crowd. If that is something you really want, that part can simply be postponed.
You can still have a Big Party
When the day does come that we can all party together again, you can still do that. You can organise a beautiful reception and invite whoever you like. Most of them will have no problem having missed the ceremony.
It may impact other Life Events
There is absolutely no reason in this day and age to follow historic societal norms. However a lot of people do put off having children until after they get married. If you would like to be married before starting a family, stop kicking that can down the road. If you want to start a family, that is a million times more important than a one day event. Prioritise what is really important in your life. Do not put off having children for the sake of a big party.
The Perfect Timeline doesn’t work
There are some people that have a 3-5 year plan in their heads. ‘I’ll hold off getting married until 2022, then we can try for a baby in 2023, then we’ll try for our second in 2024 and we’ll be done and dusted before I’m 40!’. Newsflash – Life doesn’t work like that. What if you have problems trying for a baby and need a bit of help? What if god forbid a tragic event occurred? Stop trying to live your life by some ridiculous societal calendar. Live it right now.
What is ‘Perfect’ anyway?
A lot of us talk about having the ‘perfect’ day. There is no such thing. Even if there was no pandemic and you were getting married right now, the day would not be exactly as you planned. Nothing ever goes exactly as you imagine it and you would just have to go with the flow on the day. I once attended a wedding where the bride did not enjoy the day at all because nothing went exactly as she had thought it would. Her obsession with ‘perfect’ ironically ruined a fantastic wedding day for her.
24 Little Hours
The traditional Irish wedding is simply a big (very expensive) party that is over in the space of a few short hours. Stop thinking about having a great wedding, and start concentrating on having a great life.
Have you found this post useful? Are you currently caught in this predicament? Do you have other reasons to add to the list? I would love to hear your thoughts.
- All views are my own.
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